Thursday, March 31, 2011

Stopping the World (Bloggerstock March)

This is my first month on Bloggerstock, aka to me as a shining diamond among the dozens of blog rings out there in the blogosphere. I am truly honored to join in writing with this group of talented and passionate bloggers. If you check out the founders on their site, I think you'd agree with my assessment of their abilities as well. For the month of March, the theme was "Stop the World, I want to get on/off!". 

Much to my delight, I get to host the lovely Kris from Because or Why Not. She is part of the Bloggerstock founding group (read: awesome) and a great blogger to boot. Here is her post. If you'd like to read up on my own on this topic, I am over on Dom's blog - Lije's Mindstate. So without further interruption, here's Kris:

I think I'm the minority but I've always been glad life doesn't come equipped with a fast forward or rewind buttons.  If I had access to these options I would abuse the crap out of them.  I'd probably still be nine years old just reliving a few of those years over and over.  Blithely skipping, of course, the times I cried over my math or wasn't allowed to go play with friends.  That's pretty much what life was like at nine.  Then there would be the temptation of fast forwarding before making even the most minor of decisions.  Or skipping out on all the "character building" moments in life.  C'mon, you know you'd do the same.

But a pause button...  A pause button is a concept I can get behind.  I don't see much evil that could be accomplished through being allowed to stop my world.  It would just give me the option of accomplishing so much more in a short amount of time.  Like writing this post, for example.  I could push pause, cook dinner, type this out, maybe have a nap, and still be fresh to go out this evening.  Yeah, I'm all over that.

Or maybe I could use it to stretch out the good times.  Good company?  Pause that.  Enjoy the conversation for hours and still be in bed by midnight.  Awesome fresh chocolate chip cookies?  Just hit pause and be eating them as long as you like, all for 100 calories.

In short, I could use more time.  More time to live life like I want to live it.  More time to sort out all the things that overload me all at once.  A chance to accomplish everything I know I could and still be lazy.  Time to snowboard every weekend and make my occasional work-free days stretch for glorious eternity.

Yes, a pause button is an idea I wouldn't mind.

Kris has done many things, but very few of them permanently.  A bit of a commitment-phobe she now records many of her musings over at Because or Why Not, something she has stuck by remarkably well.    Currently she's just a small-town girl with a lust for adventure.  It would seem that's, ultimately, her lot in life.

Friday, March 18, 2011

I am Asian Today

As many of you may have heard, a delightful blonde from UCLA has been tearing up the interwebs with her vlog about Asians at her school and their behavior, particularly at the school library. I watched it, and for a while I didn't understand what the outrage was all about. All of a sudden, it hit me.

...I was distracted by the boobs.
I had missed her words (as if I was actually going to pay attention to the words she was saying).

Oh yea, that whole "racism" thing people are talking about. Words can't do her and her outrageous comments justice, so I will just have to help you watch the video instead so you can make your own conclusions.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

You Can Touch But You Can't Taste (Part Two)

First note: THANK YOU for your positive responses to the first part of the story. I actually thought that, after reading it over the first time, it was too boring for my blog :P.

Second note: I SWEAR I will get back to putting up posts on new music and old math soon enough. Just bear with me a lil' bit as I take a side journey into funny storytelling land. 

Third note: I also promise that I will a) get my guest posts done (even if it takes me until summer!) and b) recognize and respond to all the memes/awards that have been sent my way. Keep the blog love strong.

Alright, so back to your regular programming. Where was I? Oh yes, end of the first night.

I wish I could say that Bright took over every one of my thoughts and dreams after that night, but I have to be honest with you. Nope. She was a drop in the ocean of new people that I kept meeting every day at college. I barely could keep track of them all, regardless of their physical beauty. I even would forget the names of my three roommates on occasion. I can blame alcohol but I think my general distracted-ness is to blame. 

Fast forward a week after that first night to one of those "freshmen only" social events. This is generally a social meeting of some sort attempting to get more freshmen to meet one another and promote "class unity". Lured by the offer of free dinner, and free food usually can get me to do many many things, I was present at said event. The buffet table was already swarmed by a tremendously long line that immediately damped my enthusiasm for any type of class love. Bitches were taking my food...I didn't want to be friends with people who took my food. Yet I wasn't to walk all the way back to my dorm without a full stomach so I just planted myself at the back of the line. While I was conversing with my grumbling stomach, telling it to "chill out" and it telling me to "STFU You", I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Hey! Remember me?"
Ummm sorry, I feel really bad 
"Riooooo, you were supposed to teach me how to dance. Like an engineer! Remember now?"
Holy crap, BRIGHT! How you been?
"Pretty awful, considering you didn't remember me!" (fake yet sexy scowl)

As we were catching up, I was beating myself up in my mind. Picture a bear mauling anything not bear-like - with blood, intestines, and people screaming everywhere. That was pretty much what my penis what was doing to my memory, with the promise of a "hell you don't even dare imagine" if this slip-up in face-name recognition cost me bed time with Bright. Again, I was hoping that my charm was in the "on" position or that it existed in the first place. 

"I had lots of fun that one night, we should hang out again"
Where did you go? I mean, we got a little worried about where you girls had gone.
"OMG! I am SO sorry about that! [her third friend] had found a guy that she knew with weed, and we got like totally high...we completely forgot about you guys"
No shame, I got SR home okay so it wasn't a problem at all.
"I hear about that, that was really nice of you. Most guys would have tried to pull a move on some girl they walked home."

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

You Can Touch But You Can't Taste (Part One)

I have a strange sensation every time I try to write a story that is has a sexual foundation. Plainly speaking, I just can't find the words to write it down. Where to start? What to include? Even the most basic requirements become mind-boggling...level of detail, renaming people, and even the basic time line of the story. But enough with the excuses, I want to y'all a story involving a girl and I will - writing standards be damned. 

This story begins, as most college ones do, at a kegger. Second month of freshman year, and I was running back and forth all over campus. Every backyard and basement like exactly like the one before, so the location of the party/kegger/get-together was of little importance. All that mattered was that I drink, "socialize", and go home with a good-looking young lady by the end of the night. 

One night, I followed my friend Del to yet another frat party - this one was an outdoor concert featuring a mostly drunk and mostly mediocre up-and-coming student rock band. I left for the bathroom and on my return found Del talking to three girls. One of these girls was her. I took so much time trying to find other names for her, but when I was typing my final selection, a much better fitting name took its place. Her name was Bright Eyes. 

At first glance, I didn't see anything out of the ordinary. Then I got up close to her. Whoa. She was of average height, somewhat curvy, with curly dirty blond hair. But it was her face that stole the show. As her faux name suggests, she had the biggest, brightest, and clearest green eyes I had ever seen. You know how they say you look at someone and fall into their gaze? I felt that but I didn't just fall, I plummeted head-first. To top it off, she had a smile that was both cute and sexy. I know that description fails in so many ways, but I struggle to put what I saw into words. Her smile was both inviting and shy, a good girl and a naughty vixen delicately mixed into one individual. Naturally, I was immediately at attention (not down there, fortunately) and ready to make some conversation. I introduced myself.

Hi, I'm Andres, you can call me Rio though
"Hi Rio. I like that name. I must be special then, to be able to call you that?" (cute grin!)
Not that special, I am just nice every once in a while (makes this face :P)
"Haha. You don't seem like a jerk to me"

Andddd we were off. Words were exchanged and so were smiles. I have completely skipped over my forced personal transformation and my elaborate montage of how I tried to learn how to flirt. Let's just say I was in the beginning stages of my practice. So yes, I was scared shitless of what I could say to her or how I should say it. Thankfully, cheap beer and a frightful concoction of so-called "jungle juice" does wonders for human interaction, particularly with attractive females. I wondered if I was doing well. Then I got some confirmation to that question.

"Hey, do you want me to get you a drink?"
Oh! Sure, I mean if that isn't much of a problem...
"They give jungle juice quicker to girls so I'll just grab two and bring them back for us!"

I was, to be cliche, over the moon. One of the cardinal rules of flirting that had been hammered into my head was this: if she does something, anything, that requires her going out of her way to do, she is into you. YES. She was getting ME a drink. Who said the guy had to go suffer through the long lines and plead with the frat brother tending the bar to hand over two drinks? Plus, she had just asked me! There was no concern for my friend or her two friends, just a clear obvious focus on yours truly. But then Del leaned over to get in a word.

"Dude, what are you doing?"
"I was talking to her before you arrived, you are totally cockblocking me man. Not cool."

(mental record stops - rrreeewwwrrrrtt)

Wait, really? Had he been talking to her? I mean, I thought he was focusing his attention on the other two friends, who weren't bad looking themselves either. It was time for a decision, the girl or the friend. Del had been the very first guy that I had met moving in. He was the first one to join me in finding parties and also the first one to send me a 3am "where the fuck are you? get over to this party" text. He was a bro, one of the best.

Should I leave her? But...what if Del gets with her? Doesn't that mean I can't later on? I was confused and bewildered but I made up my mind right then. I liked Del as my friend and I want to keep being friends. And no girl was going to get between that - which was what I thought at that moment. I wanted close friends and this wasn't the moment to be letting them go.

Ok, fine. You talk to her. I'll try to hit on one of her friends
"We cool man? I am just saying, I don't mean anything by it.."
Yea we are cool, "bros over hoes" right?
"For sure, you're the man"

With this tag team switch I immediately blocked any further thoughts of interacting with Bright. She came back with our drinks and I thanked her for her efforts. Taking my drink in hand, I turned to attempt to chat with her friends. She made a few attempts to come into the conversation, but then gave up to focus more on whatever Del was trying to say. I found that her friend SR (which is short for Spanish Russian :D) was very cute and friendly, the bubbly type of girl one finds most often among the freshman class. Pretty soon, the party got broken up and our group of five went in search of greener pastures of partying. 

Walking around, we eventually found the "baseball house" the place, where I may assume, that the college baseball team lived off-campus and frequently threw parties. The house was dark, noisy, and most of all - swarmed with tall athletic looking dudes. This was not looking good for Del and I. Freshmen guys tend to have to fight an uphill battle to get laid, and more so here in the sports team environment. These guys were built, it was their house, and they were all upperclassmen so it seemed very likely that the girls had more options on the table than we did. Multiplying our efforts, we attempted to be every bit witty, sarcastic, amusing, and overall attractive to the girls. 

Bright: "My friend and I have to go to the bathroom, wait for us okay?"
Del: "Cool, we'll wait"

And wait we did. 10 minutes...20 minutes...half an long did these girls need to go to the bathroom? Del attempted to climb the stairs to the 2nd floor where they had gone to the bathroom, only to be blocked by a much bigger and much drunker baseball team resident. SR tried texting her friends over and over again, but to no avail. Del refused to give up. But SR was getting sleepy and she insisted that she wanted to go home. I volunteered to walk her back to her dorm, and Del insisted that he would wait for Bright and the third friend. I didn't know if sex or concern was motivating him (probably a combination of both) but I told him to keep me in the loop if he were to run into any problems. 

I dropped SR off at her dorm, which got me a kiss on the cheek and a "you are very sweet". Not a very successful night but I shrugged it off. I texted Del to check on the status. Status - he was still waiting. I chalked one point up for Team "Girls that Run Away from Funny Cool Guys to Hook Up with Athletic Jocks" and told him good night. 

Yet, as you may guess from the blog post's title, this was not the last time I would see Bright. In fact, it would not be the last time Del would have a pivotal role in my pursuits for her. I will continue the rest of the story soon enough.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Pour a Shot of Blog, Chase with Some Singing (KBROD March)

It is that magical time of the month again, and this event has nothing to do with being baby-free. The Karaoke Blog Ring of Death reforms once again to bring you a fresh selection of songs and bloggers, with absolutely no tampon required. March's theme is alcohol and the implications brought on by such drinks in celebration of St. Patty's Day and March Madness. As if each blogger's crazy antics weren't enough, we are going to add booze to the mix. Our viewers have asked for more, and by Elvis's ghost and Michael Jackson's zombie (too soon?), everyone has delivered. One person in particular. That would be the gnarly bitchin' Ginny from Ginntastic. I would suggest that readers should pace themselves, and not take too much too quickly but I realize...what is the fun in that? Chug it down folks, and enjoy Ginny's performance in the KaraokeSphere. Here's Ginny:

Hello Rio's lovely readers.  I'm back for karaoke again.  I planned on singing a different song but things happened (ok wine happened) and the plans changed.  I'm sure you all know this song and it mentions drinking so it totally counts.

Thanks for hosting Rio!

Keep on drink'n on my fine karaoke singing friends.

You say you want more? I hope you have a high tolerance (had to make that pun in here somewhere) so you can watch my vids. Head on over to Lorn's blog Czech You Later to see my alcohol-loving karaoke. 

Friday, March 4, 2011

Crouching Tiger, Blogging Rio

The good news is yes, I survived my week of hell. The not-so-good news was that I didn't make it through the week without some casualties. I frequently drove my commute on 3 hours of sleep, I barely ate enough to feed a small child, and to top it off I managed to staple my thumb, completely missing the stack of papers I had lined up so nicely for the stapler. It took blood, sweat, and a substantial amount of caffeine but my midterms are done and all my reports are handed in for now. Guess what though? Yes indeed, I am on break and, yes again, I do have tons of work to complete for when I get back. 

Other times I would have been greatly aggravated and/or disappointed with the fact that I have to keep working without some form of rest. I was highly considering taking a break from the Karaoke Blog Ring of Death this month and blogging in general due to the amount of study that I have to accomplish. Something had to be cut, there was no way I could make everything fit in and do it well...or so I thought. I took a step back and analyzed my life when I read this article and the Wikipedia page on James Franco. 

What am I doing...complaining about some homework, study, work, music, and blogging? This actor, a person in a career that many consider to be superficial and lacking relevance, is never stopping his academic career. He is a mental sponge, soaking in knowledge left and right from the best schools in the country. One of qualities that I am most proud of, as a student, is my passion for learning. I love hearing about new subjects, new ideas, different perspectives and I am always open to learn from people willing to share their expertise with me. Well, James Franco is living that exact life. Let's quickly glance through his curriculum:

  • A college degree in English with a concentration in Creative Writing from UCLA
  • An MFA in Writing from Columbia University
  • Is working on his master's degree in filmmaking from NYU's Tisch School of the Arts
  • Attended Brooklyn College for fiction writing
  • Commuted to Warren Wilson College for poetry
  • Now he is a PhD student in English at Yale
  • Later, he plans to attend the Rhode Island School of Design for Painting
All what I have listed above he has done or is doing while being an acclaimed and versatile actor. Now, I don't know if I want a Best Actor Oscar nomination or to be a host for the Oscar ceremony, but I do know that I want to do everything on my plate with the highest quality possible. Whether it is playing my saxophone, going to the gym, doing some systems simulations, or just writing down a post, I want to make sure that I am putting in a piece of myself into the work that I do. There are many times that I feel overwhelmed with too many responsibilities and expectations to surpass, but I again recognize and remember that this is what I want. 

After some thought and consideration I decided to say fuck it, I am staying around. I like 20sb, I like my blog, I love music, and I love my studies. I am not surrendering one step on any of my commitments or activities. It will take some major organization and concentration to be efficient but I am willing to take the punches necessary to keep going strong :D. My post title came from the fact that I see myself as bloody and bruised, but still getting back up to say "Suck It" to my heavy schedule. I don't back down and I don't run away from obstacles in my way. I break through them. Simple as that. Let my good friend Bruce explain the rest to you.

This is the face I make when I finish an exam. True story.
So now, on to doing my design projects, studying all my printed material, and doing several homeworks while trying to complete my blogging and musical ambitions. It's going to be a good week.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Quack! Quack! Quack! The March Movie Review

For March, the Bad Movie Blog Ring has decided to tackle some sports movies. I have the absolute pleasure of getting to host the lovely and always hilarious Coyote Rose from Dancing on the Bar of Life. She is sassy, she is nerdy, and most of all she is a riot. Her movie this month was the classic and unforgettable The Mighty Ducks. Oh those Ducks, with Emilio Estevez/Coach Gordon Bombay and the lovable crew of misfits and juvenile delinquents. So read on and enjoy some Rose in your blog life. My review, soon to be up I hope, is going to be on my rap partner and hit producer Tsa over at The Tsarita Sez. Move on over to her awesome blog and ch-ch-check it out.

So welcome to this months edition of Sucky Movies Anonymous, because its March and March Madness is just around the corner, we opted to do sports movies this month. I felt it was only necessary to do the Might Ducks Trilogy.

Listen, don't get me wrong. I happen to love the Might Ducks films. I own two of the three of them, and they are totally my guilty pleasure sports movie. I mean who doesn't love when those adorable little tykes quack at their teacher, but in retrospect the movies are retarded.

Honestly, a hot-shot lawyer gets arrested for drunk driving and sentence to community service as a hockey coach. Lets count the number of things wrong with this:
  1. A laywer getting caught drunk driving once would absolutely be able to get himself out of the charges
  2. It only being his first offense (as far as i remember) would only get his license taken away for a year, under no circumstances would he be giving community service.
  3. I'm pretty sure those parents would be a little pissed off that their children are being coached by a jack-ass lawyer who breaks the law
 So after the initial run ins with the kids hating him and the coach not wanting to be there, the coach has a change of heart because he loves the game as a kid (how fucking convenient) and has a run in with an old friend who just so happens to run a hockey supply shop (seriously, plot writers?) The lawyer then gets his boss to fund the team, they change the team name to the ducks (how menacing) and the the team gets really good in the matter of like 3 minutes. Oh and then the lawyer loses his job by being a good hockey coach, because who in their right mind is going to give up a lucrative job to coach a pee-wee hockey team? By sheer luck the hockey team make it to the championship game against their rivals and the lawyers douchebag ex-hockey coach. Take wild guesses on which team won?

Of course the ducks did, because they made a sequel. The former-laywer is now a hockey player in the NHL (having left for the minor leagues at the end of the last movie) but he gets his knee blown out and is forced back home.  His old friend manages to finagle the former-laywer as job as the coach of the Hockey team for the Jr. Goodwill games, so he rounds up his old ducks and heads to California. They arrive there and meet a few new players that will be joining their team. The team does well initially but then the former-lawyer turns into a douchebag and the kids all hate him and blah blah blah boring standard kids-sports movie cliche shit. The hockey team then goes out and plays street hockey and gets a renewed love for it. The former-lawyer un-douchebags himself and the team goes on to win the Jr. Goodwill games.

We won't even discuss the 3rd mighty ducks film because it was such a travesty.

The only thing that saves the Might Ducks films from being a total sports movie cliche, is that the acting isn't totally awful. Emilio Estevez (the less druggie-insane of the Sheen-Estevez brothers) plays the lawyer turned coach and a very young cherubic Joshua Jackson (of Dawson's Creek and Fringe fame) plays the lead hockey kid in the movie. Kenan Thompson of All That and SNL fame shows up in the second movie in the perfect goofy part for him. A few of the site gags are pretty humorous to watch, but in general this is the worst kind of recycled movie crap. I suggest watching it next Sunday if you have the time.