Saturday, January 8, 2011

The Not-So-Serious List for 2010

Last post I wrote a semi-serious list of lessons I had picked up from the year 2010, but creating that list was a lot harder than you would think. You see, I kept getting these random sentences that popped into my head when I was trying to be all reflective and self-analytical. Instead of "Commitment! Responsibility!", all I could get was "Sex! TV! Dinosaursssss". You can totally see where I am coming from. So, in honor of all these crazy thoughts that pop into my head I decided to post them in their original un-filtered form.

(Asking myself) "So, Rio, what did you learn in this year 2010?"

  • Somehow, in internet math, stupid comments are the solution to even stupider discussions
  • On the web, everyone that disagrees with you has a 20-inch dick, multiple degrees in every intellectual field, and has lived more than you ever will
  • I stopped whining, because there was always someone with a worse sob story than mine...bastards.
  • The blue button on the remote is the "keep" button, great to know after all the good movies were deleted off of the family DVR
  • Trojan viruses are filthy little shits, but you can call me muthafuckin' Achilles by the way I fight them off my laptop
  • Farting in your car...during your long the New England wintertime is only hurting yourself and not entirely funny since you are the only one in the car, dumbshit.
  • Making your own passport photos is an excellent way to feel super-spy, terrorist, and cheap all at the same time.
  • Blogging anonymously might not work if you use your blog's email to respond to a flirty girl
  • I still blush when a sex scene pops up and I'm around my parents, even at 21 years of age
  • Yet I don't blush when I have to explain things like this to my brothers:
  • In sex, there are 3 things you need: Enthusiasm, Knowledge, and Physical Endurance...I have 2 out of 3, I'll let you all guess which two though.
  • If you are in a cleaner bathroom than you thought was possible, you are probably in the ladies' bathroom
  • Just when you thought you had found a nice happy place...the trolls reveal themselves and not even Jesus, Gandhi, or Mother Theresa could resist screaming at these morons.

A quick summary, but a necessary one. All these points have little stories attached to them, but they in themselves are not gut-punching, tear-rolling hilarities. Let me know if you have any unserious lessons from 2010 to share.


  1. That was hilarious and awesome! LOVED it. I could unfortunately relate...especially to

    "Farting in your car...during your long the New England wintertime is only hurting yourself and not entirely funny since you are the only one in the car, dumbshit."


  2. I'm going to have to disagree, I was once in a bathroom that was dirtier than I thought possible and it was still a ladies room. Does that mean I have a 20-inch dick? Speaking of bathrooms, in 2010 I learned that British girls are totally okay with getting in a bathroom with a stranger who desperately needs to pee because they just really want to talk about "OMG that guy was sooo hitting on you giggle giggle" in privacy.

  3. Sara - wow...I didn't know it would be that easy
    But yes, I having been spending more time in the gym, lifting ze weights don't you worry

    Sarah - Thanks for the love! Glad you enjoyed it. I usually am driving and then it is all "hahah that was a good one" (minutes later) FUCK, why oh why did I do that

    Neni - of course not!...unless you do have one, no judgments on this here blog. British girls really do that? Crazy...when I need to pee I am probably not going to be wanting to gossip about some girl hitting on me. But that's just me


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