Tuesday, December 21, 2010

The Manliest Man

Lately there has been a discussion about guy and girl bloggers, and which gender is more followed. Not surprisingly, nearly everyone has agreed that girls are on top, and that their blogs are much more popular than your typical guy blog. So we, as males, have not necessarily been feeling the love. Some common complaints were that guy content was so-called boring and unfamiliar. This then made me think about various “manly” topics up in my head, and I decide to write (type) down a few of these testosterone-bathed ideas. These are some manly things for you to think about:


Unavoidable, obviously. Penis. Vagina. Sex. Lots of it. If there were a day that, I could claim, that this subject doesn't cross my mind, I am blatantly undeniably lying. Of course, this topic covers a wide variety of conversations. You could talk about porn, whacking it, blowing it, sucking it, etc., etc., but most of all, it is the fact that you had sex. And the hilarity and unbelievable events that lead up to, occur during, and after the act itself, like when the Danaconda gets some. I think the Lonely Island and Akon put it very well also. Even if there is a paper bag involved, it still counts!


Meat, meat, meat, meat, me-me-meat. Carnivores, unite, and bring your beef, pork, veal, turkey, partridge, and chicken over to my home. Vegetarians, respect and love, but I can't live without my piece of marinated, broiled, grilled, or barbecued piece of deliciousness. I'm so so sorry animal-loving guys and girls.(Not really, but I feel nice for once) Its not easy being a Grill Master either, you have to learn the secrets of the meat arts, creating the sauce to marinate in, choosing the right grill, and of course, how to perform the cuts. Now, I am not saying you have to eat meat to be friends with me, but damn it sure does help our relationship.

T or A

Ah yes, the eternal debate started from the beginning of mankind. Coke or Pepsi? IPhone or Blackberry? Tits or ass? How to decide...how to delegate a superior importance to one part of the female anatomy? On the one hand, the girls are hard to ignore since your eyes are magnetically being pulled down to the chest area of her figure. Pick your head up dude, you are kind of obvious, and close your mouth. Jeez. On the other, did you just see her walk by in those tight jeans? By all things that are holy in this world, how does it get so big? And round? And bouncy? Put that thing away please, I can't focus on my driving/flying/operating heavy machinery. I'm going to presume that everyone from the Mesopotamians up to the Romans put their finest philosophers on this discussion and even they could only come up with what is now the Hot or Not websites.


FOOTTBBALLLLLLL. BASEBALLLLL. BASKETBALLLL. SOCCERRRR (fĂștbol) Among other stuff typically in a guy's mind is "how is the game going?" and "I wonder what the score is". Now, I have never considered myself a guy's guy, but more like a nerdy guy's guy. The nerdy guy who knows about technology, science, video games, and not so much on the sports side of things. Yet, somehow or another, I get sucked into watching and following sports regardless. I am somewhere in between the dude that knows nothing about the rules and asks the annoying questions and the die-hard asshole of a fan that knows all the names, the scores of the games, and the 100+ years of history that the team has. So maybe according to "sports fans" out there, I am not true fan yet, but I want to spare myself the effort of learning everything related to one team. This blog does help out though. But I do have my teams. I am a Yankees fan (yes, yes, you can shut up now...haters), a Phillies fan, and a Barcelona fan. I have started liking the Eagles since they picked up Michael Vick and gave him another chance. But that's it though. I have science as my competitive sport. COMPUTERSSSS AND GRAPHING CALCULATORSSS. So fucking intense I tell you.

How do these above mentioned topics compare to your typical "omg he's so cute" post and your "wear this, not this, this season" entry? Clearly, you want to hear me debate some other girl's posterior versus her might-not-be-natural-but-thats-okay chest region. I think you just have to have an open mind. I listen to you talk about your prospects for love, and you hear me talk about how much I love T-bone steak. It's give and take ladies, give and take. In the meantime, of course I will comment on your searches for happiness and make fun of you for trying to write (yet again) about your wardrobe.

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